the heart as it is | courage • grief • beauty

Todays prompt question from Onsite is:

What emotions do you feel run the deepest? How frequently do you feel these emotions?

To answer this, I actually pulled out the emotion wheel. I’m not sure which emotions run deep, so I’m just going to answer this question as which emotions do I feel intensely:

Definitely one emotion I feel intensely (which isn’t on this wheel, actually), is shame. Because I have historically let myself go into shame cycles (i.e., feeling shame about something, then feeling shame about feeling shame, then feeling shame about feeling that shame, etc…), it is incredibly quick for that feeling to become very intense. Thankfully, I don’t feel it very often anymore, but I’d say, if I had to quantify it, at this time in my life I might feel that emotion once every few months.

Another emotion that I may feel intensely is awe. As an enneagram 4, it is easy for me to be struck by beauty, and thus find awe in many, small things. That feeling I maybe feel a few times a month.

The last intense feeling I will talk about here – which if course is not the last other feeling I feel intensely – is anxiety. I am very in my head a lot, and while I am learning better to feel life through my body, it is still something I need to practice a lot. Especially with current wedding planning, a busy job season, the beginning of a graduate semester, and an upcoming move, it is very easy to feel anxious and want to have more control over things. With regards to this emotion and my current circumstances in life, I probably feel short moments of anxiety everyday, or at least every other day.