Reflections 3/4/2025

So… I had like a whole post written out, and then life got really busy, and then I accidentally deleted it after a month. As a result, I am starting from scratch:

Things I have been learning about Yahweh:

Firstly, I want to share that I am grateful to be a part of a couple of Christian faith communities for the time being- one is my home church, and one is a five-month fellowship group that I belong to. Both of these have been good places to reframe how my relationship with God specifically, as well as with His word, can look in healthier ways.
In any case, continuing with parts of scripture that have stood out to me when copying it down – one part that stood out to me recently was Genesis 3:4, when the serpent tells Eve, “You shall not die by death” if she eats the fruit of tree in the middle of the garden. And you know what? The serpent was sort of right, Eve did not literally die. I think spiritually she did, in the sense that she died to what she was meant to be – living into the destiny of acting into her identity of being an image of God. But I think it’s really important to note that this is not even something that the Bible took literally, because she did not LITERALLY die – and so I think this is important lens to have when reading any part of the Bible in general.

Things I have been learning about others:

So, as my grad classes review counseling theories, one of the theories we have been reviewing again is person-centered therapy, and one of the main tenets of person-centered therapy is ‘unconditional positive regard’. The meaning behind that is no matter what someone is sharing to you, you still hold dignified space for them with compassion and empathy. I can’t fully remember my conversation in class, but I do recall sharing briefly about my experience at Onsite and how this posture was cultivated from our group therapists, which really helped us all heal a bit more. What I do remember well in class is that I could tell my classmates really resonated with what I was saying, and that lets me know how important it is with regards to our healing that we are viewed as good people having a hard/painful time as opposed to just ‘evil’/’bad’ people.
An interesting term I learned lately is “chronological superiority”. It is essentially when we, as modern, 21st-century humans, think that we are able to reason and think better than our ancestors. Some examples where this could show up are thinking that we would not think Jesus was heretic during his time, that we would not think that cosmic objects were deity-related, that we would not submit to the Nazi regime if we had lived in Germany during WWII, or that we would not support slavery during the beginnings of the U.S. The reality is, we don’t know what would have happened and how we would have reacted. Obviously, looking back, we can see what was wrong vs. right, but in those times, having a ‘right’ vs. ‘wrong’ opinion of something was divisive and even life-threatening if you were on the wrong side. Instead of carrying around this chronological superiority, it is more helpful to examine our biases and prejudices now, and learn to develop empathy.

Things I have been learning about the world:

So… I have learned the hard way (but not an incredibly hard way) that you cannot be baking two very different items in the oven at once ! When we were short on time, I tried to bake some chicken while my husband was baking his pizza. It ended up making both cook for a lot longer, and making my chicken extremely dry. So I will try my best to not be doing that again.

Things I have been learning about myself:

I don’t know why it has taken me a handful of people and so much time to realize this, but working full time, being a grad student (even just part-time), and being married is a lot to have on my plate. My marriage and my studies are top priority, so something is definitely going to have to change soon in terms of keeping up all aspects of my health.
As life feels full, I am trying to notice things that make me feel like I can “breathe” again. Some quick and easy ones to note down are being in nature/looking at nature, as well as listening to traditional instrumental Celtic folk music. When I do these things, it feels like my lungs and heart expand and my soul is able to feel lighter.
I won’t explain this much on here, but I’m learning (and being reminded) that some of the unhealed areas in my soul continue to do with needing to grieve and accept people as they are.
I am continuing to read Parker J Palmer’s “A Hidden Wholeness” as a devotional and so will share why certain quotes have stood out to me. I will just share from the most recent chapter because there are so many quotes I’ve underlined and shared about that I sadly accidentally deleted:
There’s this whole part of a chapter where Parker J Palmer likens seasons of the world to seasons of the soul that I absolutely love, but it is a lot to type out. So I am going to focus on this one paragraph of that part: “The deeper our faith, the more doubt we must endure; the deeper our hope, the more prone we are to despair; the deeper our love ,the more pain its loss will bring: these are a few of the paradoxes we must hold as human beings. If we refuse to hold them in hopes of living without doubt despair, and pain, we also find ourselves living without faith, hope, and love.” –> This honestly reminds me of something I have heard Brene Brown share about in the past, that if we do not allow ourselves to deeply experience sorrow it will be difficult for us to deeply experience joy. We cannot selectively numb pain, because it will also numb pain’s more positive-feeling counterparts. It’s just a good reminder to stay present with ourselves.

“You will love again the stranger who was your self” –> this is actually a quote from another poem, “Love After Love”, by Derek Wolcott. I have heard of this poem before, but this line stands out the most, as I believe that this is the promise that taking the time and effort to heal results in.

Thanks for reading !