5/29/2025 Reflections

Things I’m learning about Yahweh:

Something I have been being reminded about in small ways recently is that one of the ways the Holy Spirit manifests himself in my life is by showing up in moments where I feel a great sense of beauty – like a great sense of being alive. Not in the sense of any ecstatic sense, but in the sense that makes me really appreciate the world and others.

Things I’m learning about others:

So I finally watched “Interstellar” since it has been free on Tubi for a little bit. My favorite quote is from when Dr. Brand wants to visit her the planet that her lover was assigned to that is one of the planets signaled to be one of the promising ones. The quote goes: “I’m drawn across the universe to someone I haven’t seen in a decade, who I know is probably dead. Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t understand it.” I can’t help but think of God with this quote, the mystery of love that He is. I also can’t help but think of of our gut instinct in general – how our bodies were made with love and the mystery (but somewhat scientifically proved) of our gut instinct and how powerful that is.
As I’m getting older and going through different phases of life, I’m realizing that the way my friendships show up have been changing. Yes it is something to be sad about, but also, it is completely normal, at least during this day and age. On my end, I’m trying my best to at least maintain the good and close friendships I have. If possible, I also enjoy making new friends when I can, but that is becoming more rare nowadays.
Jacob and I recently went on a lively hike with some friends from church last weekend. I was able to talk with them about levels of knowledge. Long story short, we discussed how pretty much all decisions that we view are logical actually have an emotional base – and there is not only psychological but biological proof for this. The theory of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy intertwines thoughts, feelings, and actions together. We also believe we make completely 100%, emotion-free decisions by trying to think logically through things but the reality is, our decisions our based on our values which are highly based on our emotions. So emotions are important with regards to learning anything, even and especially theology. Anything that discounts emotions in any supposed tehology should be highly questioned, as to be human is to feel (which Jesus knew well)

Things I’m learning about the world:

One random fact I’ve learned about the world lately is that Venice is actually not built on an island but rather built on the foundation of hundreds (if not thousands) of a certain type of wood log. It is fascinating what humans can do.

Things I’m learning about myself:

Lately I have been binge watching a lot of ‘Legally Blonde’ as I have found it free multiple streaming/video platforms. Since I have watched it probably 3 or 4 times over the course of the past 2 weeks, I have been curious as to why I like the film so much. One reason I like it is because generally, she reamins nice and kind and herself while people mistreat her – which feels very inspiring to me (she is mean like twice in the movie, but overall she has a good regard torwards others). I also really like her character arc of trying to chase after some guy to genuine wanting to help others, and consequently making beautiful connections from that. Plus, it’s genuinely fun and entertaining to watch everything that happens in the film.
Continuing with quotes from John O’Donohue’s book “Amam Cara”….

“One of the deepest longings of the human soul is the longing to be seen. In an ancient myth Narcissus looks into the pool, sees his own face, and becomes obsessed with it. Unfortunately, there is no mirror in the world where you can catch a glimpse of your soul. You cannot even see your own body completely. If you look behind you, the front of your body is out of view. You can never be fully visually present to your self. The one you love, your anam cara, your soul friend, is the truest mirror to reflect your soul. The honesty and clarity of true friendship also brings out the real contour of your spirit. It is beautiful to have such a presence in your life.” -> To put it short, this reminds me that identity is not only formed individually but also by others (for better or for worse). While parts of our identity are indeed things we discover ourselves, other parts needs the relationship and intimacy and being known form others to be formed, too. O’Donohue just words this idea beautifully.

“To be holy is to be home, to be able to rest in the house of belonging that we call the soul.” -> I love this definition of being holy. Long ago, to be holy meant to be perfect/set apart for me. It also meant to be saved in some manner. While a part of those definitions still hold true for me, that’s such a small way of seeing what holy is. To be holy is to be whole, and I love how O’Donohue further shares that to be whole in this way is to be at home, to be at rest.

“Love helps you to see the Other in his or her own unique and special nature”: I really love the way this is worded, as it essentially tells me that the more I can see the divine in myself, the more I will be able to see it in others – God’s fingerprints everywhere.

“The body is also very truthful. You know from your own life that your body rarely lies. Your mind can deceive you and put all kinds of barriers between you and your nature; but your body does not lie. Your body tells you, if you attend to it, how your life is and whether you are living from your soul or from the labyrinths of your negativity. The body also has a wonderful intelligence. All of our movements, indeed everything we do, demands the most refined and detailed cooperation of each of our senses. The human body is the most complex, refined, and harmonious totality.” -> I remember as I was first beginning to heal from a lot of the pain that held me back, frequently my ‘next right thing’ kind of step was to be embodied and to live embodied, however that looked like from moment to moment. I seem to have lost that desire and consequently have been living in more embodied ways than I would like to, leading to a few health issues I believe. I feel like some of that desire to be embodied is coming back but it now feels more effortful than it should be. So for the time being, I am trying to pay attention to things that make me want to live more embodied as well as the things that do the opposite. I am thankful for O’Dononue’s words of the beauty and wisdom of the body in this way.

“We should avoid the false dualism that separates the soul from the body. The soul is not simply within the body, hidden somewhere within its recesses. The truth is rather the converse. Your body is in the soul, and the soul suffuses you completely”. -> this reminds me how during my teenage years, there was this very well-known attributed to CS Lewis going around about how we do not have a soul, but that we are a soul and that we have a body. To my teenage, fundamentalist brain, this led me to easily believe that it is a burden to have a body as a soul. While that may be true to an extent, what that quote fails to express and what took me a long time to learn as well is how intertwined the soul and the body are, that they cannot really be one without the other. Purity culture really tears apart this truth viciously (I’ve also been learning purity culture is not just about abstinence, but an almost a toxically ascetic and unbiblical view of the body), so this is something I have slowly been trying to be more intentional about unlearning, as it also has to do with the disembodiment I carried for a good majority of my life.