February 4, 2026 Reflections

Things I have been learning about:

…Yahweh:

Since being in the thick of grad school and being married, I haven’t thought too deeply about theology like I used to. I definitely still think about it from time to time, but I have been realizing that one of the most faithful things to God I can do at this time is to be as best of a student/intern as I can in this current counseling program that I am in. It really was so divinely planned and such a miracle that my admission and process into this program happened the way it did, and I am so close to being finished and learning how to be a supportive space to others.

…others:

For this past winter term, I enrolled in a course centering on masculine identities and I think it was a very eye-opening course. My professor likened it to how we need to understand the waters we’re swimming in (i.e., one where male privilege generally reigns supreme). One of the last things that my teacher shared is that there are certain cultures where their masculinity is attributed/stereotyped as generlly hypermasculine or toxicly masculine, but it really is just colonizer-tinted, which is something I was thinking about a lot earlier in the semester during a project. Essentially, I am certain that throughout history there have been strategically political ways to silent men emotionally which has led to many men not being as in touch with their emotions (consequently deeming women as too emotional because men are unaware of how to handle it).
Also with this class, I appreciated the nuanced view and the compassionate hand that this professor was able to express across a variety of issues. He was very good at thinking critically. I also really appreciated that he understands that critical thinking comes in steps, or as he usually describes it “chapters” in people’s lives. For example, it is actually unhelpful for people to try ‘wake other people up’ to their privilege (whatever it may be) if they do not see it yet, because they’re not in a phase of their life where their minds can see it – and as slightly uncomfortable that that feels for me, I’ve been realizing that this is a more compassionate way to meet people as it approaches these people where they are.

…the world:

Last Christmas, one of my internship clinicians noticed that I eat a lot of kimchi and so had a parent of theirs make me a whole jar of homemade kimchi! I definitely felt very seen in that moment. I learned, after years of eating kimchi mainly as a lazy way to get more vegetables in my diet, that in any kimchi container, it is best practice to try to grab kimchi as close to the bottom as possible, and then push down whatever kimchi is left so it can continue to be marinated/fermented. It makes so much sense now but I would have never thought of it before !

…myself:

As I am getting older, I realize I do not really handle the cold well ! I have already known that I am prone to cold, but I realize that when I am cold and uncomfortable, I am incredibly irritable and just want to be somewhere warm again ! Plus I learned also that I partly need to have better clothing depending on the weather, too.
In in one of my classes this past fall, I had to visit an undergraduate class with my professor and another fellow classmate. I feel slightly bad for my classmate, but when we began working with these undergraduate students individually, my classmate was sharing that they mainly remembered my name only when we visited (not that they didn’t remember them though!). It just felt good to hear that I left an impression in that way, especially as I am in the baby stages of my counseling career.
For my spring semester, I have decided to just take my final 3 classes. I was really against it at first (and in some sense still am) as it was really stressful taking 3 classes last semester, as I thought I could handle it. And I was able to handle it, but I could tell that my body was very stressed through various things coming up. However, a couple of the main things that compelled me to just finish everything for the next few months was (1) to save money and (2) one of my last classes is asynchronous AND credit/no credit. To make this semester more bearable, I have decided to try my best to follow a few things: (1) I need to honor the Sabbath again where I do not do any homework or housework, I get to sleep as much as I need, I don’t check my phone/computer, and I need to exercise. (2) I need to only be at my internships 4 days a week, as per my original agreements. The only exception to this is if I have a sick day on one of my internship days and need to make it up. But I am trying to keep my Mondays free as much as possible. (3) Going boxing at a gym once a week. As traffic is getting worse, I have decided to enroll in a gym halfway between one of my internships and home to wait out the traffic. This gym has punching bags and so it has been nice to have this as an outlet, even though the boxing bags there are relatively light.
Also, for this second semeser, moreso in my placement with young adults, I am actually starting to feel like a therapist. I feel like I am slowly being able to do more emotional processing, and I have a (developing) talent for it and really feel like I thrive a lot more there as a budding therapist. Granted, I feel like the support there feels a lot more different at the adult site, so I know that makes a difference. Ideally I would love to continue working at the higher ed setting so I have tried to apply to some other positions in the higher ed setting (my current site is low on their budget so sadly I cannot continue there), but my 2nd choice is just any other setting where I am able to work with adults (although most likely other sites will have a mix of ages, which will be okay as well).

Thank you for reading this far if you have ! It’s definitely been a while since I’ve been able to share one of these posts. I’m on my last semester so I don’t know how often I can post but I think at least once a month would not be bad during this season in my life.